I'm not sure what you mean by 'give us the ability to use our own mail server'? I don't see how that would be possible as it would require a lot of configurations between the application and our own mail services.
We came up with the limit of three emails before a reset after many years of monitoring the results of changing those and it has to remain at 3 unless there is a very compelling reason to change it.
The point of the service is to help solve Internet issues which implies that someone monitoring is going to be checking when they get emails therefore, there is no point in constantly sending more and more emails about the same problem.